December 10, 2009

Why Do Holidays Depress Me?

I don't guess I have ever really mentioned on my blog that I kind of dread the holiday time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy buying presents for my kiddos and watching them open them on Christmas day. I also enjoy all of the parties that are planned with my church family. Last but not least, I always enjoy our Christmas program we have at church. The thing I hate about the holidays is the lack of family. I am an only child. I grew up in a his, hers & ours family. There is a 10 year span between me and my mom's youngest daughter and my dad's youngest daughter. I was not raised with any of them in the home so I never knew what it was like to have a sibling. I've often told people I've gotten the short end of the stick in two ways: 1 - I'm the baby of the family and 2 - I'm the only child. I just can't win for losing!! ha

Anyway, growing up it was never a huge ordeal for me to be the only child in the family. I did get bored at times but I always got whatever I needed and majority of the time what I wanted. As I have gotten older and grown into adult friendships, I often see how my friends are getting together with their families for different things or going shopping with their siblings or cousins or just spending time with their mom for the day. I get kinda down about it because I don't have that. My parents moved away from Oklahoma about 3-4 years ago and I haven't been the same since. It's kind of depressing. Then the holidays start. Everyone is getting together with family and enjoying different things with them. Maybe it's a pity party?? BUT it's true feelings.

OK, maybe I now have this negative vibe out...maybe I can go on with my week & feel a little better.  I love having this blog where I can vent!  Some people don't like that I do it but oh well!!  I've learned a lot this week about pleasing others.  Many have made some great comments on facebook after I put up this status:  Tamara Conner hates the fact that I can't say what I am feeling on a public blog or here on facebook without making someone mad.  I've also been reading my friend Nicole's blog this week & she is feeling the same way about the negativeness from some people.  She's moving on and her blog is helping me realize that I need to just move on, too!  Thanks Nicole!!!! 

Anyway, time to move on and get my mind back in order!  Thanks to all my friends and family out there!!  Have a great day!


Nicole said...

Well, I guess when we lose everybody we personally know because of our blogs, we'll still have each other!! :) Hang in there. I get ya!

Girly Muse said...

Oh, honestly. If you can't say what you're thinking on your own blog or your own facebook page, why bother? I, for one, am always grateful to hear someone's honest, fully OUT there thoughts...thank you for the times you share yourself that way with us. !!! :)

I get a bit depressed myself during the holidays. I'm surrounded by a bit of dysfunction and live far from my own personal dysfunction. :) I hope this year will be extra special with your kids and the traditions that you've started to make it your own.

Say what's on your mind. Say it loud. I've actually considered doing an anonymous blog too, I could just say WHATEVER I want to say and not have to's tempting!

secretlifeofdawn said...

Love you cousin, so glad that we have been able to reconnect through fb, I feel ya, even with the six of us siblings, parents, my kiddos and hubby and all that goes on, I'm not a big fan of this holiday either. Christmas day is my Mom's Birthday which makes me sad, depressed and a little lonely even with the room full of people. Then I think of how blessed I am and try to be Thankful for all that I have... Hope to see you next year on the cruise, Love you... Cam, lets get our happy boots on, do the happy dance and have a great holiday;)

Tamara said...

Cam - ya cracked me up!! I didn't realize that Aunt Elaine's birthday was on Christmas. What a wonderful woman she was!! Love ya - can't wait for the cruise!!

Michelle Reese said...

I too am a bit of scrooge at Christmas. With no family--Dougs parents moved to Florida and my mom well thats a long story. It's just me and my dysfunctional bunch. I am doing much better this year keeping my head above water and not letting those around get me down. Christmas is for the children. They WILL have GOOD Christmas memories if it kills me :)!!!
As for those people who don't like what you say on your blog or Facebook. I always say don't read it if you don't like it.