October 7, 2009

Peeling Off The Layers

I've recently felt like I am having to actually dig down super deep and find myself.  Who am I?  Why have I been this way all of my life?  Why can I not cope with these issues?  What am I really made up of?  It's been exhausting, depressing and liberating all at the same time.

Have you ever sat and thought about who you are now?  Why are you the way you are?  What circumstances in your life can you draw on to help you understand why you're that way?  What can you do to change it??  These are just a FEW questions that I have dealt with over the last 9 days. 

I want to live a life #1 that's pleasing to God but #2 that is in tune with my family.  I'd love for everyone out there to think that I am the perfect mother who gets up at 5:00 AM to get fully dressed, cook a full breakfast for my kids, make their lunch, iron my hubby's shirt, make the beds, vacuum and all jump into the car together to have an awe-inspiring ride to school.  Can you believe.....THAT'S NOT ME!!!  If I had my choice, I'd be in bed until 10 or 11 every morning and mill around the house or go have lunch with a girlfriend and piddle my day away.  The true me is setting the alarm for 6:00 AM, snoozing until 6:30 AM, rushing through the next hour to get myself dressed, make sure the other two are dressed (appropriately), make sure they brushed their teeth, make sure they put deoderant on, make sure their lunches are packed and hope to the good Lord above that we all made it into the car and to the end of the driveway with everything we all need for the day - all before the bus gets here. 

Sometimes the "cheerleader" of the family gets down and bent out of shape.  Who's there to help cheer on the "cheerleader" when she/he has discovered her battery is run down?  I'd love to hear some thoughts from any of you out there! 

I pray all of my family and friends are finding their place in their worlds today!  CHOW!


Nicole said...

Sister, when you get that one figured out ... let me know! Just make time for yourself, make everybody allow you to make time for yourself, and remember that EVERYONE is responsible for his/her own happiness. The rat race to try to make everybody happy is an endless one.
Love ya!

Loren said...

Girl, I am shocked! thats not you?? man you burst my bubble ;) HA wouldn't we all wish we could be though!!! My perfect day sound much like yours!!!
I know when I am down there are a few things I must find out....
Where is my walk w/the Lord? Am I having my quiet time and being FILLED by Him?
How is my ME time? just like Nicole said, we gotta take
time for ourselves.
Finding where/why we are out of whack ~what is draining us most? time mgmt? chaos? etc

I seriously think that boundaries book has some of these answers you are looking for...check it out k